Fred Meets Bertha is the 17th episode of the Classic FRED YouTube series, uploaded onto the Fred YouTube channel on June 26, 2008.

Fred Meets Bertha
Season 1, Episode 17
Air date June 26, 2008
Episode guide
Fred Goes Swimming
Fred's Mom Is Missing

Description Edit

Fred meets a girl named Bertha outside the community bar. Bertha seems really nice, but is she really?

Plot Edit

Fred Meets Bertha is an episode in which Fred's mom and him went to a bar and met Bertha with her mom. When Fred arrives home, he tells that he and Bertha told each other scary story that there is a house in town that has a ghost in it which haunts six-year-olds. Fred gets scared because it might go to his house because he is six. Then he hears a voice and gets scared and finds out it was just Bertha. Then he realizes that she is mean.

Transcript Edit

Fred: Hey, it's Fred! And today's a really good day because guess what? I'm meeting a new friend! Her name's Bertha. Anyone with the name Bertha must be pretty cool! Well, the reason why I'm meeting Bertha is because both of our moms are going to the bar today. And while they're at the bar, me and Bertha are gonna play outside of the bar. Playing outside the bar's really fun! But last time I hung outside the bar, all these gangster kids came up to me and tried to threaten to beat me up. But I was like, "Step away, gangster! Fred's in the house!"

(camera zooms slowly to his face)

(screen cuts to Fred)

Fred: And they were like, "Oh my God, I'm so scared!"

(camera zooms faster to his face)

(screen cuts to Fred)

Fred: They know that they cannot mess with Fred. Because I will mess them up. Okay. Well, I'm pretty sure I have to go 'cause Bertha just pulled into my driveway. Wish me luck! Talk to you later!

(screen fades in black, then fades back to Fred walking back to the house, closes the door)

Fred: (really excited) Oh my God! Oh my gosh! Bertha kissed me! J.K. I'm just joshing. But Bertha was really nice to me. I mean, Bertha's like a really popular 2nd grader, so that was really, really good for my reputation that she was hanging out with me. When Judy finds out about this, she's gonna be SO jealous! Anyways, me and Bertha had a ton of fun. When I first got there, Bertha told me to throw a beer bottle at a car! (sadly) So I did it and then the people came out of the bar and told me that I was a bad kid! (softly) But Bertha said that she was really impressed. Bertha made me do a lot of bad things! She told me to push an old guy on a wheelchair into a wall! But that was really mean, so I just said, "No! I will not push an old person into a wall!" So anyways, it was really fun and Bertha told me this really scary story! She told me that there's a house in our town. The house is haunted. Every year on this exact day, the ghost come out of the house. And they haunt 6-year-olds! When she was telling me the story, I was all acting like I was tough and I wasn't scared, (scared) but I'm really scared! (softly) When if the ghost comes to my house because I'm 6? Whatever. It won't happen. Those stories are so fake.

(parakeet squeak)

(screen cuts to Fred holding his parakeet and the stuffed panda bear, pretending that his parakeet was Bertha and the stuffed panda bear was Fred)

Fred: Okay. Pretend this is Bertha and this is me.

(Fred's parakeet is biting against the stuffed panda's nose when Fred is pretending that his 2 things are kissing like him and Bertha)

Fred: And now, they're kissing. They're kissing!

(screen cuts to Fred after he puts down the stuffed panda bear and puts his parakeet back in the cage)

Fred: At the end of the whole entire thing, I told Bertha I wanted to kiss her hand. And she told me that that was not a good idea because she hadn't washed her hands for about 3 days. That's kinda sick! My hands are so clean. One time, I went to a fortuneteller and they told me that if you have this line on your hand, it means that you're gonna get married to a very gorgeous lady. When my mom got her pom raven, the lady said that she would live to be very old and miserable. My mom was very mad at the lady for saying that. I mean, she could've at least just made up a good fortune then make my mom feel good.

(Bertha hissing like a ghost, offscreen)

Fred: (gasps, scared) What was that sound?! I think it's a ghost! (smiles, then gets scared)

Bertha: (offscreen, as a ghost) I'm gonna hurt you!

Fred: (gasps, scared) I'm scared now! What's going on? This is scary! (runs to the kitchen) I'm gonna call 911! (dials the emergency number on the phone, reads the numbers he dialed) "911." (calls the emergency people for help) Oh my gosh, there's a ghost in my house!

(the emergency people tells Fred about the drugs he hadn't take)

Fred: (to the emergency people) No, I haven't taken any drugs? What are you talking about?! (presses the end button as the phone beeps, looks at the camera) They didn't even believe me. They just inspected that I was tragadic. That was wrong of them to accuse me of something so harsh! When my mom gets home, I'm gonna tell her to sue them! My mom said that whenever someone does something bad to you, you can just sue them and then you get money. My mom's done it a few times already.

(screen cuts to Fred back in the living room)

Bertha: (offscreen, as a ghost) I'm still here!

Fred: (scared) Oh my God, I've got another ghost! I don't know what I'm gonna do. I don't wanna get hurt by a ghost. Oh my gosh! (notices it was Bertha being a ghost)

Bertha: (offscreen) Oh my gosh, Fred! This has been Bertha the whole time. You're such a whamp!

Fred: What the heck, Bertha? Why are you inside my house?

Bertha: (offscreen) Because I wanted to scare you. I can so tell that you were scared when I was telling you the story.

Fred: (sadly) Oh my God, Bertha! You're so mean!

Bertha: (offscreen) Loser! Well, I'm gonna go, Fred. Bye!

(Fred screams while the camera zooms to his mouth)

(screen cuts to Fred)

Fred: Okay. Well, I'm gonna go because that was really embarrassing. (softly) Talk to you later. Bye!


Fred: (offscreen, singing) Bertha seems nice, but in the end, she was mean!


Characters Edit

  • Fred Figglehorn
  • Bertha
  • Fred's Parakeet
  • Stuffed Panda Bear (toy, no dialogue)
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