Fred Faces a Dirty Campaign is the 27th episode of the Classic FRED YouTube series, uploaded onto the Fred YouTube channel on October 16, 2008.
Description[]
After Kevin and Judy turn the Kindergarten campaign negative, Fred is forced to fight fire with fire.
Plot[]
Fred begins by telling what happened at school after he put up his campaign posters-- Kevin had ripped them all down and replaced them with mudslinging posters on Fred, which included digs on his mom's alcoholism and Fred's campaign promises. Fred also mentions that Judy was going around and telling everyone that time Fred went into her house, which he insists she was still exaggerating about. To retaliate against Kevin, Fred decides to rip down Kevin's campaign posters and put up new ones that make equally personal attacks on him, such as Kevin's weight. While Fred was rambling about the expression of feelings through song and dance as he had just done so, his mom catches him still awake and tells him to go to bed. He is upset because she then took away his TV dinner privileges. Before he goes to bed, the episode ends with him showing off a button he made for his campaign and being eager to get back at Kevin later.
Transcript[]
Fred: Hey, it's Fred! And you're never gonna believe what happened today at school. Well, you know how I spent like a whole entire day making posters for my presidential campaign? Well, fat Kevin ripped them all down today and replaced them with posters that say bad things about me! I mean like one of the posters that he put up said, "Why would you vote for Fred? His mom's an alcoholic," (sadly) and that would just really offended me! (softly) Because my mom went through frickin' rehab and she's not an alcoholic anymore. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. My mom drinks every once in a while. But whenever my mom DOES drink, she drinks like wine, or like liquor, I mean she never drinks beer. And she only has like one bottle of wine a day. I mean seriously, she's not gonna become an alcoholic again. Oh, and another thing Mr. Fat Kevin put out one of his posters is, "Fred doesn't want recess! Why would you vote for someone who doesn't want recess?" I mean, I don't think he understands why I put that, I mean it's for people who don't have friends because they also would just sit awkwardly and watching everyone else play. Kevin's small brain just can't comprehend the intense intelligent ideas my brain holds. I'm just very intelligent and in-electoral and all that kind of stuff. I'm just very smart. (fake laugh) Oh my gosh! And a really embarrassing thing that happened today was Judy was walking around the school, telling everyone, "Why would you vote for Fred? He stalked me and went into my house!" I mean seriously, Judy was making it sound WAY worse than it really was. Like the worst thing I've ever done to Judy is walk into her house when no one was home and look through her drawers, and look at all for personal items! I mean, it wasn't that bad!
(screen cuts to Fred holding up his parakeet)
(parakeet squeak)
Fred: I bet if my bird was a human, then she'd understand my ideas for our school. (to his parakeet) You'd understand my ideas, wouldn't you? (kisses on the parakeet's beak) I love you so much.
(screen cuts to Fred after he puts his parakeet back in the cage)
Fred: (singing) If people in my class understood my brain, maybe they liked my presidential campaign! OOOHHH! WOOAAAHHH! WOOOOOAAAAAHHHHH!!!! (speaking) So yeah. I'm just really mad at Kevin because he's making everyone think that my ideas are stupid which they aren't 'cause they're SO GOOD! I mean, any same child would love to not have recess. You know, I wanted to have a clean campaign and not be mean to Kevin, but he threw fire at me so I'm gonna throw fire back. That's what my mom always taught me. My grandma claims that if you throw fire at fire just makes a bigger fire but, me and my mom don't believe that stuff. So to get back at Kevin, what I think I'm gonna do is rip down all of his stupid posters and put up new ones saying how evil he is! I'm gonna put a poster up in the school that says, "Kevin says that he has big ideas for the school. Well, let's all face it. Kevin's body is big! He's FAT!" (in slow motion, 50%) FAT! (in slow motion, 25%) FAT!
(back to normal motion)
Fred: Another one of my posters that I'm gonna hang up around school is gonna say, "Why don't you ever see Kevin at the swimming pool in the summer? Well, because he's fat! That's why!" After my class sees these posters, they're for sure gonna vote for me. Though sizzle, man! (to the squirrels) You squirrel things would vote for me if you went to my school, (to squirrel #1) wouldn't you?! (to squirrel #2) Wouldn't you?! (to squirrel #1) WOULDN'T YOU?!
(screen cuts to Fred standing on the table, making his dance moves)
Fred: (singing) I'm gonna get revenge over Kevin! I'm gonna make Kevin CRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
(screen cuts to his head, screen rumbling, then cuts back to Fred on the ground)
Fred: I really can't give you a reason why I did that whole entire interpretative dance but you know, it made me feel better. Every once in a while, everybody has to just break out into song and dance to express their feelings to the world. Sometimes your words can't cover what your feelings so you have to get your movements into it. Here I go again, letting my whole entire intelligent intellectual mind take over again. I mean, even though I may be socially honored...
Fred's Mom: (offscreen) What the heck, Fred? Why are you still up? It's dark outside. Get to your bed!
Fred: Okay, mom! I'll go! Just don't freak out! Seriously! (weird laugh, sadly) Oh my gosh. I'm just really mad right now because my mom is really mad that I was up past dark and, now she's taking away my TV dinner privileges. (softly) Okay. Well, I guess I gotta go to bed now. (excited) Oh my garnet, I almost forgot to tell you guys that I made this cool button that I can wear during school and now it's promote my presidential campaign. (shows everyone the button that's showing him in it with the red strips of the American flag and it says, "Figglehorn '08") So yeah. I'm gonna put it on! (puts the button on his shirt but the pin pointed on him) Ow! Frickin' stupid!
(screen cuts to the button that he put it on correctly, moves the camera to him)
Fred: Doesn't it look so hackin' cool on me? I can't wait to get revenge on Kevin tomorrow. Peace out!
(Fred)
Fred: (offscreen, singing) I'm gonna get revenge over Kevin! I'm gonna make Kevin CRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!
(FredFigglehorn.com)
(youtube.com/FRED)
(Subscribe!)
(screen rumbling)
Characters[]
- Fred Figglehorn
- Fred's Mom (voice only)
- Parakeet
- Neighborhood Squirrel #1
- Neighborhood Squirrel #2
Trivia[]
- The episode implies that Fred's mom may have relapsed, since he mentions that she was drinking a bottle of wine a day (even though it's not beer, by his logic).
- Fred's bird and the neighborhood squirrels make another appearance.